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Exploring the Idea of "Having It All"

by 5 September 04, 2013

having it all

I don't usually get too personal on this website. (I mean, there are only so many intimate details you can share while instructing others on how to wield a glue gun.) Still, here at HelloLuvvy, we really want to focus on issues that matter to women. I feel that in order to do that, I need to get a bit real with you ladies, so I hope you don't mind.

Over the past year, my life has taken quite an interesting direction. I began working in a new field, which challenged me in amazing ways. I loved it so much that I decided to go back to school to pursue a master's degree that would allow me to further advance my career. Then, this summer, as I was gearing up for the seemingly crazy balancing act of being  fulltime student and fulltime lady in the workforce, I found out I was pregnant. Don't get me wrong, I am elated about the pregnancy. A year ago, my husband and I suffered a miscarriage and had been trying for several months. It just wasn't working, until it did. Now I find myself in the crazy position of being a wife, someone who is employed fulltime, a fulltime student, and a mother-to-be.

This got me thinking about that notion of women "having it all." For some women, this is a nonissue. They know what the want. I have friends who are very career-driven and have zero problem putting a husband or family on hold indefinitely. I also have friends who have possessed the singular desire to be a stay at home mom as long as I've known them. I would like to take the time to note that I believe these both to be equally valid options. My personal brand of feminism requires that women have this choice but is not bothered by what they actually decide to do with it. Still, I'm the type of person that tends to try to juggle many things at once, partly out of necessity and partly out of desire. The choice has never been as clear-cut as either family OR career for me, and I venture to guess that many of you luvvies feel the same way. In my case, I need to work to help support my family. I mostly enjoy my job, so that's okay. I will confess that some part of me, a part that took me a little bit by surprise at first, is already so sad about the first day I have to leave my baby in the care of a family member so I can go back to work.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that the idea of "having it all" tends to sugarcoat something that I believe to be very complex. By juggling all of these different roles, at some point, somewhere I will have to make sacrifices. One or more area of my life is going to suffer from time to time, more than likely. The more I think about it, I don't believe that "having it all" in the sense of balancing all aspects of your life perfectly is one bit possible. It requires you to make tough choices from time to time.  Don't misunderstand, I certainly think it is possible to be a working wife, mother, and student, but I think the key for keeping me grounded will be always knowing my family is my first priority.

What do you luvvies think about "having it all," so to speak? Do you think it is possible? Impossible? Irrelevant? I would love to hear your thoughts!

Kaitlyn-Signature





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